The Night It Ended

ended

A strangled smile fell from your face
What kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn’t even know
Now there’s a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

Whatever It Takes written by Jason Wade, Jude Cole, performed by Lifehouse

The same nurse is on duty this afternoon as yesterday. She nods when she sees me, enters Dominic’s room, and then gestures for me to go in.

He’s elevated, but not quite sitting. He looks thinner, paler, and his eyes flash anger at me, a jarring expression from him. To say I feel perplexed would be a vast understatement.

“It’s great to see you,” I say, tentatively, and then move to kiss him, but he raises his palm like a traffic cop, stopping me in mid-lean. I straighten, frown, and then shake my head.

“What’s happened?”

“I was shot.”

“I know that. I was here.”

“When? When were you here? Once? Tansy says you found it ‘inconvenient’ to be here.”

“What?” I swallow. “I was here every day except for when my bosses made me go to that conference or lose my job.”

I try to take his hand, but he shakes me off.

“I sent you texts.”

“You might notice they don’t allow cells here.”

Tears sting and I bite my lip hard to keep them back. Stupid, stupid me.

“Face it, Clare. You’ve never been as into me as I was into you. Getting shot, dying, waking up and finding you nowhere near. All of that clarified things for me.”

“But . . .”

“If something were going to happen between us, it would have happened by now.”

“But, Dominic, I . . .”

“No more. Okay? I put my heart out there for you because I thought you were the one for me. I’ve learned maybe I didn’t have to look that far for love. That maybe it was with me every day before you ever came along.”

Tansy.

“So that’s it?”

He doesn’t look at me when he nods. “Yeah, that’s it.”

I want to say more. There’s more to say, but he doesn’t sound like himself or look like himself and pain tightens his face. This time when I lean down, he doesn’t stop me. I kiss his lips, but he returns nothing. His lips are cool, unmoving, disavowing.

Death didn’t take him, but it feels as if it did.

 

end 9/14/2016

S. Darlington

17 thoughts on “The Night It Ended

          1. Yes, there’s always free will, But anyway, after the Catholic church concept everything happens accordingly to God’s will… You Are free to choose, But then destiny make things follow their own path in order to submit them to the divine will… Do Not misunderstand me, i am a Catholic, thats what i learned in school, but i am not a true believer, so I am not certain thats how things happen… So why I Was only asking

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Mean, after the catholic beliefs, things in the end Are just like they should be… For unknown reasons, that Only God knows. Do i believe it? Well, i dont have a clue, but sometimes it looks like that. Other times it sounds ridiculous… But, who knows?

              Like

              1. I guess if I’m truthful I believe more in free will than fate. I think sometimes it’s an easy route to point to fate and say that’s why things happen. It enables us not to take full responsibility for our actions. I believe…argh…this will sound bad, but most people are unwilling to accept that they are truly responsible for their lot in life so they blame it on fate or some other outside entity. (Too serious, no?)

                Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s