This post has not been edited except for typos and spelling errors. It is all stream-of-consciousness.

 

I thought it would be easy, coming here today, your wedding with her. Who was I kidding? I’m cowering somewhere in the back of the church in my too tight, too high shoes wishing I was up there with you. But I’d never wear that dress. What is she dressed for? Playboy Bunnies weddings? Her boobs look like they’ll pay a visit any time now. And what’s with that short dress? Did they run out of material?

Okay. I’m being judgmental. I know this. I slump farther down into the pew as if wish it would absorb me. I am an awful human being. There. I’ve said it.

You called me judgmental. You said I had snarky words for everyone and maybe it was true. Okay. It was one-hundred-percent true. But that’s the way I was raised. A cop-out, but true. My mother never met a person she didn’t love to hate.

You look handsome. Every time I’d ever seen you in a suit it was for a wedding or a funeral and here you are now at a wedding. Your wedding.

Here it comes: does anyone know why so and so should not marry so and so.

Me, me, me, bloody me.

You look around and your eyes land on me. Crap. Did you just raise an eyebrow?

I jump up. Everyone looks at me, including you. That’s when I realize that maybe you hadn’t glanced my way at all.

I smile. “Oops. Tights just riding up a bit,” I say and then slink back down into the hard, hard pew. My face is flushed and I want to disappear.

If there was anything I could do to turn this moment around. Oh, what nonsense. You had your chance. If you’d had a change of heart or if I’d been willing to admit I was wrong.

I was wrong.

“I was wrong!”

 

end (5) 10/22/2016

S. Darlington

Stream of Consciousness

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!