PHOTO PROMPT © Sarah Potter
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Last Straw
He’s packing.
Her tears add salt to the sauce she stirs.
He lingers in the doorway, watching, his suitcase a burden.
She averts her face, hiding red eyes.
Snow hugs the window ledge, inches already, so silent. Last year they constructed a snowman that melted the next day.
“Maybe you shouldn’t go yet. The storm,” she says.
“Maybe you’re right. I mean, if it’s okay.”
Their eyes engage, briefly. She stares at her sauce, he at his shoes.
“I can be an idiot,” he confesses. She smiles. “Me, too.”
She extends the spoon to him for a second opinion.
end 2/24/2017 (99 words)
S. Darlington
hearts that soften when the inevitable seems almost there, and a tiny gesture makes all the difference, i felt so warm reading this.
There are some very clever lines in this, where you use an object to convey emotion. Like “his suitcase a burden” and “She stares at her sauce, he at his shoes”. I loved this
Thank you, Neil. I’ve been trying new things lately and I appreciate your noticing! 🙂
I love this. So much emotion. Fingers crossed for them.
Thank you so much for reading! 🙂
Dear Sascha,
This story leaves me smiling and feeling hopeful. Thank heaven for that storm. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
Sometimes fate or mother nature takes over. 🙂 Thanks for reading! 🙂
It looks like there may be hope for them. I liked the way the story unwound. The ending bringing it altogether in a gentle way. Nicely done …
Isadora 😎
Thank you, Isadora, and thanks so much for reading! 🙂
Your Welcome … 😎
You’ve told a novel in a short flash. The pacing is perfect to allow the reader to soak in the emotions, to see what sort of people they are, what they do when they are upset, how the feel about each other… Just brilliant.
Beautiful dialogue explaining the whole story in few words.. Loved it 😊
Thank you so much! 🙂
I hope they will bless the night they were saved by the storm… and I hope the sauce was not too salt. Loved this a lot.
Thank goodness for the storm. Lovely story and so well crafted. Like Neil, I liked how you conveyed the emotions.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your commetning! 🙂
Yes, Mother Nature lent a hand at the right time. This was absolutely lovely…
Thank you. Mother Nature does help! 🙂
This packed a lot of emotion. Nicely done.
Thank you very much, Kecia! 🙂
Such a beautiful story – loved it.
Thank you, Dahlia, for reading and commenting!
This couple obviously has a “stormy” relationship. Their history lays under the surface of this conversation.
Ha! “Stormy.” Good one.
Thanks for reading and for commenting!
Good for them. Sometimes you need to to stop and reconsider. Nicely done.
Yes! Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
This is so touching. Thank you Sascha. Lovely to meet you 🙂 🙂 ~Blessings to you in all ways, Debbie