A Year

A year ago today

she wrote

hope you are having a really good birthday

hope you are well

lots of love

 

today

I wish she were here

I wish I had known

that people will not always be

that all of the seconds accumulate into minutes and hours and days and years

and that sometimes

they decide to shorten

the moments.

 

I wish I had known

a year ago

that lots of love

would be

the last thing

I heard from her

 

I wish I had known

we can’t hold onto

ones who wish not to stay

 

I wish I had known

words hidden in words

and could decipher meanings

between lines of the simplest echoes

and that wanting and holding

cannot make one stay

end 3/9/2017

S. Darlington

 

It’s not in this world, it’s in the parallel universe, where people are good and say things they mean and are not mean, where you are, wonderful and happy, sipping your rum and coke and your laughter throbs for the ages and you are happy. Beautiful down to your toes, and it is your laughter, your hearty sexy laugh that lives.

Much love always.


 

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8 thoughts on “A Year

  1. To the last melancholic verse, an enjoyable read. I think about it, going back, changing things, but I’m starting to realize how interconnected it all is, cause and effect, good and bad that we can’t know, so now I’m reprogramming my time machine to go to future 🙂 .

    Liked by 1 person

    • Do you really believe (know) that it’s all interconnected? Maybe that’s the wrong question.
      Going back isn’t an option (for more than the obvious ones) because you can’t know which would be the exact point to go back to. There would be, again, the obvious one, which may not be the correct one, it might not have been the cause .
      I’m certainly not using concrete language, am I? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Seems pretty clear to me 😛 I know what you mean, and I’d say the chain of cause and effect goes back as far as you’d like to look, this is part of the complexity.

        I think reflecting on the past and applying it to the future is great, and yes, I do think it’s all interconnected in a very real way through our thoughts and actions.

        To be absolutely clear, I am not saying (1) there’s a grand plan (2) everything is for the best (3) whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger (an aphorism I particularly detest).

        The only life I really know is my own, and there are moments in it where I’ve thought I’d make changes if I could go back. But I’ve come to realize that I’d be different then, my path would be different (quite apart from the paths of others) and I’m not prepared to throw away the graces in my life. Conclusion: keep going.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I agree. As anyone fascinated with time travel would know, changing the past, changes the future. And, there are no guarantees (unless you have special abilities) that the change you make, will actually make anything better.
        I would like to believe that things are interconnected on a grand scale. Sometimes there are patterns, but these could be (probably are) mind machinations. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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