Reality TV Presents: “Just Good Ole Boys”


Reality TV Presents: “Just Good Ole Boys”

I knew when I married him that Ry was not the sharpest tool in the chest. What I didn’t know was the extent of the lack of sharpness or the fact that he was, indeed, a tool.

I took his desire to be on a reality tv series about a group of good ole boys in stride, figuring that, while he was cute as all get out, he really knew nothing about being a good ole boy except for his love of cars. Somehow that must have won the hearts, minds, and souls of those “in the know” because he was cast.

In the weeks that followed Ry was glued, almost literally (don’t ask; there was super glue involved), to youtube watching every single fishing, hunting, and gun video that existed.

“I’m gonna be famous, honey, just you wait,” he said. He smiled at me, his big blue eyes shining and that dimple creating a crater in the side of his cheek and I remembered why I married him: because he was cuter than sin. I dug deep and found acceptance of his new found desire for fame. My bad.

I would like to say, “somehow” Ry forgot about the constantly rolling cameras, but there was no “somehow” involved. Ry forgot about ten minutes into their filming and went about life the way he always had. He became an immediate sensation. People loved him. He was a cute, foolish man who frequently needed to be reminded to put on pants. Again, literally.

Which is how I found out about Lily Conrad Shears. Real name.

On that fateful afternoon with the cameras of “Just Good Ole Boys” running, Ry Hulver stepped into the afternoon sunshine draped across Lily Conrad Shears’ front porch in his blue plaid button down and his boxers. He stood there looking around and you half-expected him to break into a chorus of “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning” but instead the door opened behind him and Lily Conrad Shears thrust my husband’s blue jeans into his arms and then twiddled her fingers at the camera. She was wearing only a black and red teddy.

I have been assured that there are worse things than finding out via nationally broadcast television that your cuter than sin husband has been boinking an invasive, predatory species. When asked what, the immediate response is death, of course. Which is why the sheriff of Carderiff County is on his way here. But between you and me, I didn’t do it. Oh, I’ll probably tell the sheriff that too, so never mind the between you and me thing. We’ll just catch up later.

end 3/22/20167

S. Darlington

19 thoughts on “Reality TV Presents: “Just Good Ole Boys”

      1. I find myself in the position you were in regarding posts your regular readers might be surprised at. I’m torn. Do I add it in, its definitely risque, a romantic scene with all the trimmings, haha what do you think? do I add a disclaimer so those that might be offended don’t bother reading? and if so where do I add it? please help, need your input

      2. First, I feel that you have to be true to the nature of the story that’s in you and let it take you wherever it wants to go. So, I would just add a disclaimer at the beginning stating what’s to come and indicate whether it’s language, sex, or whatever. Good luck and write on! 🙂

      3. Initially I was going to have a more risqué scene in my last story, but found hints could be as suggestive as being explicit. It also puts the onus on the reader…they can fill in as they want without force feeding.

      4. True enough. It’s been my thought on the subject too. Its like Alfred Hitchcock. Less is more. He didn’t fill in the blanks but left it to your imagination and that was more terrifying than otherwise. Same with romantic play I think, but having said that, I probably went overboard, have to go look now, lol

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