© Sascha Darlington
Do you know what it feels like to have
something curdle inside of you?
Lumpy and warm and full.
You made me feel that.
I thought feelings inside were dead.
A simple smile, a gentle, non-intentional caress
of your index finger
on my elbow awakened dormancy.
You brushed your lips on mine
As if by accident
As accidents like this should fall
Your eyes portended more
Summer passed to autumn
And burnished leaves and slippery rain
I committed to forget you
My feet splashed puddles as I ran
My hair dripped with icy rain
Cold ebbed into my bones
I ran to forget you.
With every footfall, rain splashing upward
I felt the coldness permeate,
Not only my body, but my mind
That’s how it was through autumn and winter.
In spring, still running,
You appeared, a phoenix
So brilliant in your shaded colors
Hurt, I tried to run around
But like a magnet, you drew me near
“Sorry, so sorry.”
You held me tight although I fought
For dignity, for pride, for being thrown aside
“I never meant to hurt you.”
Kisses on my temple, brow.
You enfold me in your arms.
My eyes closed. Compromise.