Thanks to Rochelle, as always, for providing a home for these wonderful photo prompts for Friday Fictioneers. If you would like to join in the fun, visit here.
PHOTO PROMPT © Kent Bonham
Dreaming Darkness
Darkness threatened as I navigated twisting streets trying to catch a glimpse of Joe’s taillights. This recurring dream inhibited my daytime, injecting uncertainty where none before existed.
Our life was good; why would he leave?
The house shook with thunder. The shepherd cowered between my knees and the stove where I stirred onions in olive oil.
Mary’s tiny voice filled brief quiet gaps. “What game is this, Daddy? How do I play?”
I peered around the doorway to see him, sweating, prostrate on the carpet.
Through thick rain I trailed the ambulance, its taillights red in the eclipsing darkness.
end 7/21/2017
Sascha Darlington
I like the sudden clarity at the end. The story starts as if there was a breakup, but ends with the truth — Joe has had something terrible happen to him. I was puzzled about the shepherd, though. Did you mean German shepherd, as in the dog?
Thanks for reading and your comments. Yes, I did mean dog and had dog originally but thought that seemed distant. I think I might have one word left, but this will probably be an English Shepherd. 🙂 I appreciate your time!
I liked the shaping of this. Our fears happen, but not as we imagined them
Thank you, Neil. I always appreciate your comments! 🙂
Great title and punchy well-paced story, Sascha. 💙
Thank you, Steve. I appreciate your reading! 🙂
My pleasure.
Dear Sascha,
There’s so much to this short story. You set the scene well. The mother trying to hold herself together while the ambulance is on its way. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you, Rochelle. I appreciate your comments!
Perfect build-up to the climax. Nicely done.
Got me! I love endings I don’t see coming. #amsmiling. 🙂
This gave me shivers. I often had dreams of horrid things happening; when they did, they were not quite as I had imagined but not far either…
I too was confused by the shepherd, but loved this. Well constructed and tragic.
So very well written , Sascha. Hope there’s light for her at the end of the dark tunnel .
I do hope he is fine and Mary is too. Nicely set up Sascha
Thanks, Dahlia!
Really good. Hope they get to the hospital in time.
(I’m giving up dreaming from now on!)
Thanks, Patrick! Hopefully not all dreams are prescient.
A well constructed story, Sascha. I’m hoping whatever caused his pain, (appendix, etc.) was fixible.
Thanks so much, Russell. I’ve been tossing that one around depending on my mood. Today he survives. Awful playing god, isn’t it? 🙂
A dream-like story ending in nightmarish truth. A distinctive style that was pleasant to read (in an unpleasant (but good) way)).
Thanks so much for your feedback, Kelvin! I appreciate it! 🙂
How sad. Not a break-up as I thought after all.
I was a bit confused about where the “shepherd” fit in until I saw a comment explaining it’s a dog and not an actual shepherd. The name “Mary” as in “Mary had a little lamb” also led me to think of a human shepherd hee 🙂
Thanks for the comment. I will probably make the “dog” more explicit. I appreciate your comment! 🙂
Great story Sascha, a nightmare turning into a reality.
Thank you, Iain! 🙂
Wow! Brilliant
Oh wow… what a misdirect. I did not see that coming. Scary story Sascha
Thanks, Laurie. 🙂
Wow. Terrific story
Thank you so much!