Redesign #amwriting

PHOTO PROMPT © Kelvin M. Knight

Thanks to Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers. If you would liked to join in, visit here to read the instructions. If you’d liked to read more stories using this photo prompt, click here.


Redesign

Last week when Mama was here this wouldn’t have happened: No milk. One slice of bread. Bananas so black they melt into the counter.

Da stares at his cellphone.

I want to mention the groceries, Louise’s un-slept-in bed, Arly wearing the same clothes for days, but Da’s face is a forbidding maelstrom.

I drop the holey bread into the toaster and pour a cup of see-through coffee. “When’s Mama coming back?” She does this: becomes infatuated, leaves, then nonchalantly reappears.

His cell chimes. He glances at the text and visibly relaxes. Evidently good news.

“Never.”

His thin lips curve upward.

 

9/13/2017

Sascha Darlington

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40 thoughts on “Redesign #amwriting

  1. With the relief on his face , I wonder if he has had a role in the ‘ never’. I loved how you painted the picture of everything falling into disarray without the mother .Great story , Sascha.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, Sascha I love this. So beautifully written and understated – from the melting bananas to the see-through coffee this is a sterling work of fiction. I fear for the kids’ futures with Mum gone for good, but you did this so well. Brava!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Poor kids. Being raised in a dysfunctional family often leads to the same behavior in the next generation. Healthy role models are important and sadly lacking in many homes.

    Beautifully descriptive. Outstanding writing, Sascha.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I saw it as the mother being caring but unfaithful and restless. He is not much of a homemaker perhaps but is caring. He knew she would be back and hence would let things slide but now that he knows she is never coming back, they can move on and learn to take care of themselves. Nicely done Sascha and thanks for the thought provoking story 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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