PHOTO PROMPT © Kelvin M. Knight
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Last week when Mama was here this wouldn’t have happened: No milk. One slice of bread. Bananas so black they melt into the counter.
Da stares at his cellphone.
I want to mention the groceries, Louise’s un-slept-in bed, Arly wearing the same clothes for days, but Da’s face is a forbidding maelstrom.
I drop the holey bread into the toaster and pour a cup of see-through coffee. “When’s Mama coming back?” She does this: becomes infatuated, leaves, then nonchalantly reappears.
His cell chimes. He glances at the text and visibly relaxes. Evidently good news.
“Never.”
His thin lips curve upward.
9/13/2017
Sascha Darlington
Enough is enough. Did he put out a hit on her?
We can only imagine what the message might have been
Yes, I think the reader can draw their own conclusions.
Thanks. 🙂
Really good, ‘Never” such an ambiguity. Is it relief and good news that she has escaped and finally left Da, what’s he been doing!
Yes, I don’t think Da has just been sitting around feeling self-pity.
Thanks, James. 🙂
Dear Sascha,
Very disturbing story. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you so much, Rochelle. 🙂
Wow! I didn’t see that coming…well done! 🙂
Thanks, Vivian. I don’t think I did initially either, which may have helped. 🙂
It did!
So much for Mama. Now maybe Papa will go do some shopping.
Let’s hope. 🙂
Thanks, James!
With the relief on his face , I wonder if he has had a role in the ‘ never’. I loved how you painted the picture of everything falling into disarray without the mother .Great story , Sascha.
I think you are probably right about Da being an active player.
Thanks, Moon!
So much between the line sin this story. Nice one Sascha.
Thanks so much, Iain!
there’s more to the story than meets the eye. he seems relieved she’s not coming back.
I think you are definitely right.
Thanks so much! 🙂
By now you might wonder if Dad has someone in mind to take Mama’s place. Got tired of the roller-coaster existence.
It could be although his immediate action may have been from male ego or pride or some such.
Thanks, Christine! 🙂
Her never coming back is better than this endless coming and going. Now he can get on with life. Hopefully he’ll start with laundry and shopping 🙂
I’m sure his kids hope for that!
Thanks so much! 🙂
Oh, Sascha I love this. So beautifully written and understated – from the melting bananas to the see-through coffee this is a sterling work of fiction. I fear for the kids’ futures with Mum gone for good, but you did this so well. Brava!
Thanks so much, Lynn! I appreciate it. 🙂
My pleasure 🙂
Poor kids. Being raised in a dysfunctional family often leads to the same behavior in the next generation. Healthy role models are important and sadly lacking in many homes.
Beautifully descriptive. Outstanding writing, Sascha.
What you say is very true. Let’s hope that brains and willpower factor in.
Thanks so much, Russell! 🙂
I’m thinking he was expecting that call! Intriguing.
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Yes, I think he was patiently (or not) waiting for information.
Thanks so much, Keith! 🙂
I saw it as the mother being caring but unfaithful and restless. He is not much of a homemaker perhaps but is caring. He knew she would be back and hence would let things slide but now that he knows she is never coming back, they can move on and learn to take care of themselves. Nicely done Sascha and thanks for the thought provoking story 🙂
Thank you, Dahlia, for such a thoughtful critique. 🙂
Oh, I love how this develops from a story of neglect to something a lot more sinister. Great writing.
Thanks so much! 🙂
Wonderful writing, Sasha. The descriptions were fabulous.
Oh Da definitely had something to do with it… now maybe he can start taking care of his family
Perfect ending for a flash.
I agree with Iain there is a lot of story between the lines. I felt the despair and insecurity from the MC regarding the missing mother. Well done.
Thank you! 🙂
Seems like he had had enough. The kids sound like they are in for hard times though. Good write.
I suspect he’s ready to move on. Good one.
I suspect you’re right, Sandra! thanks.