Thanks to Rochelle, as always, for hosting Friday Fictioneers.
PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot
Mired
So many sunsets I’ve experienced here.
Papere said, “Seeing and experiencing, two different things.”
The flood waters have finally receded. Everything usually smells damp, but now the churning waters have uprooted varying scents of mold and rot and death.
Papere said, “We live and die swamp rats.”
But how many times can you start over when even the caskets of your dead have taken to water?
I dream of Taos and pinyon pines, of the scent of fry bread and beans, of snows and fierce wailing winds, of a high desert home. Of calm.
And Remy hammers one final nail.
end 10/25/2017
Sascha Darlington
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Gosh. That was unexpected. I take it the narrated I is about to be buried in the mire. Good story.
Thanks, Irene. Currently she’s metaphorical buried in the mire, sometime in the (hopefully) distant future also buried there.
I liked the layers of smells and memories in this. One of your best
Thank you, Neil. Over the period of a few hours I kept walking away and coming back, letting my brain work on it. Maybe that helps me. 🙂
Great descriptions, creates a vivid atmosphere of death and decay.
Thank you, Iain! 🙂
Dear Sascha,
I could feel the damp and smell the mold. Well layered story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Many thanks, Rochelle! 🙂
Beautifully written. I didn’t understand the significance of the ‘final nail’. Am I being dense?
Thanks, Sandra. No, you’re not being dense. It’s possible it’s an idiom we have in the US, a last nail in the coffin. I was trying to tie it all together, dreams, being stuck, death–metaphorical and real. The last nail on a repair that means they’re staying.
I’m a little puzzled about the last line. Was the nail being hammered into a new home or something else. A coffin as you’ve indicated in the comment above, Sascha?
Oh, and I belong to a private Facebook group for indigenous peoples, and the term “fry bread” comes up quite often.” 😉
I’ve made fry bread. It’s delicious, although everything looks like it’s been dusted with flour (including me) when I’m done.
Yes, James, you’re right. The final nail in reparations as the sun sets. I might have been trying to get too many ideas into all of the words.
Or maybe I just haven’t had enough coffee yet.
I love this. Deep and swirling as those flood waters. Such great imagery and tone. Lovely
Thank you, Lynn! 🙂
My pleasure 🙂
Kinda made me feel the story was able to be connected to Houston and current events. Or to other major flood events. Well done!
Yes, thanks so much, Miles. The gulf coast has been flooded quite a bit this year so it was certainly in my mind and I did prune out location words like bayou.
There is calmness to be found in the unrelenting tone of this narrator’s tale, such is the strength of their longing, the power of their hope. Lovely tale, well told.
Thank you, Kelvin. So sorry to be so late in replying. I appreciate your comments. 🙂
Multilayered as RWF says. A piece that provokes introspection.
Thank you for reading! I appreciate your comment. 🙂
A dream of a better future in a less-than-ideal situation? Sometimes I have those dreams of the calmer better future too 😉
Yes. I think quite a few people do. Thanks, Fatima!
Lovely descriptions in this. I could see and smell the scene.
Thanks so much, Clare.
Great use of the senses, Sascha. The last line was powerful.
Thank you so much, Russell! 🙂
The floating coffins got me. What a terrible time.
Thank you, Laurie. Sorry so much for the late reply.
I was thinking the same as what Laurie said. A terrible time, indeed.
Thanks for reading! 🙂
I wrinkled my nose at the smell as I read 🙂
Ah, thoughts of the future and scents wafting from the internet. 🙂
Thanks for reading!
Great descriptions, especially smells, mould and rot. A fantastic sense of desperation about this piece
Thank you, Michael!
I agree with all the comments, you did create a complete world for us. I felt her sense of longing and despair.
Thanks so much! 🙂
Such a strong juxtaposition of the mire and the desert.
Thanks, Alice!
A sad story. Maybe Viking funeral piers might be better in this situation? Just a thought.
Interesting idea. I think the Cajuns actually had their start somewhere in Canada near where the Vikings may have settled.
Sorry for the late reply!
Hey Sascha. That’s neat I’ve never heard about the Cajuns coming from Canada before. From Quebec maybe? It’s very old three and in Montreal, 400 years or so. But different peoples in their history can move a great deal and migrated more than we would expect without trains, planes and that kind of thing.
My God Uncle did an ancestry DNA test. His ancestors are all English, but it was interesting that he found, down the line, his female ancestor married an Asian guy in turkey so he has 2 Percent Asian in his DNA. So his ancestors travelled up from Turkey and eventually through Germany to England. In my family too we have a bit of monglion. It pops up in some of my cousins and my Grandma’s one brother had distinct Asian features. My friend from Hong-Kong often told me eyes had an Asian shake of sorts. For my family too, that would have been far back as on my Dad’s side at least we’re all Germanic and a bit Austrian, but somehow a bit of French and Mongolian are mixed in.
Very cool! Yes, I had to double check to make sure I wasn’t spouting a misinformed memory. The Cajuns started out in Maritime Canada so we’re talking Nova Scotia et al. Was it at one time called Arcadia (or am I thinking of the Maine park? ha!). My bro had his dna done and it said that sometimes siblings wouldn’t match up. I think it might be fun to have it done. His came back as Scandinavian….he says viking. He does look it. 🙂
Ah, yes you are right Arcadia. We did study that in school sometime 🙂
Oh yes, the Vikings first settled in Newfoundland I think. They’ve found homes and artifacts, but no historian seems to know why they suddenly left.
Too cold! That’s why they went as far south on the land as they could. 🙂 (I’m making that up, but maybe it’s true.) They gave up cold for alligators, cottonmouths, and hurricanes.