I did it! I wrote another installment of the story! Woot! In case you missed it, Pt V appeared a little earlier this evening.

You can read the previous parts here.

Forget the Mom Jeans

“I need help,” Adam said before downing his bourbon shot.

Nick nodded. “Yep. You’ve come to the right guy.”

Adam raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. The two-times divorced guy.”

“But at least I got them to start with, which is what you’re having problems with, I’d say,” Nick said while mixing a Manhattan.

Adam had to concede that point. “Mary wants ‘zing.’ She’s not attracted to me at all. She acts like I’m her brother.”

“Deadly.”

“You’re telling me.”

“Scruff.”

“What?” Adam said, raising an eyebrow wondering how “scruff” fit into anything.

“You need a little facial hair,” Nick said.

“What?”

“Ten days’ worth of beard.”

“What?”

“Man, quit the ‘whatting.’ No kidding. Women find the beard that’s not quite a beard super sexy. I read it on the internet.”

“Great. Because everything on the internet is true.”

“In this case it was actual research from somewhere in Wales. Or was that New Wales or something?” Nick scratched his chin, while thinking.

“But that would be after New Year’s. What about 9-days of beard…although even that’s too late.”

“The burning question is: why the rush?”

Adam shrugged. “I don’t know. I wanted to be with her on New Year’s. I wanted to start the New Year with her.”

“Sap,” Nick said. “We’ve also got to find some women who think you’re adorable.”

“I don’t want to make her jealous.”

“Not jealous. We want to show her that you’re desirable. We want her to see that women find you attractive. She’ll be torn apart seeing all of these beautiful women hanging off of you.”

Nodding, Adam could see where that might work. Well, the other women being attracted. He really couldn’t see her being torn apart. Not in any daydream. Okay. He’d start growing facial hair. But where to find the women.

Nick grinned. “You’re a few cans short, man. Every night there are women here oogling you. You’re just so caught up in the ginger, you’ve never noticed.”

“But I don’t want them to think I’m interested. I don’t want to hurt them.”

“Man, you must have jelly beans for balls.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem,” Nick said, laughing. “We’ll get this figured out. Leave it to me. You just start growing the hair.

Nick poured a few draughts, mixed drinks, then returned. “And, we might have to rethink your clothes,” he said looking pointedly at Adam’s Duke sweatshirt.

“What’s wrong with my clothes? I’m not going metrosexual or whatever the hell it is.”

“No, but maybe an oxford or a flannel. A nice button down and jeans that don’t look like they belonged to your mother.”

“What? These are Levis.”

“And the baggiest ones I’ve ever seen.”

“I like comfortable.”

“And that, my man, is your problem.”

 

end 12/22/2017 Sascha Darlington