Embers of Bridges Glowing (The Happy Ending)

Thank you to Rochelle for Friday Fictioneers!

I am doing something slightly unusual. I took a request (from Miss Maggie) to take the story I just submitted and give it a happy ending. Well, then it needed a few adjustments. A more hopeful title, etc. So take your pick. Happy ending or sad ending. Which do you prefer?

PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

Embers of Bridges

“She needs a doctor, you stupid ox.”

Brian’s head jerks as if I landed a blow. “I’ll fix it.”

I don’t wait. I board a bus, murmuring songs in Kitty’s ear. Her eyes, green like Brian’s Emerald Isle, gaze at me.

Worries churn.

“She’s in good hands.”

How will we pay?

When the door opens, I glance over. Face bloodied, left eye swollen, Brian grins while displaying a wad of cash. Pressed against his chest, I hear his heart thud.

Interminable waiting. With each swing of the door, my heart plummets until my ear discerns the unmistakable lilt of Kitty’s cooing song.

end (100 words)

Sascha Darlington 2/28/2018







51 thoughts on “Embers of Bridges Glowing (The Happy Ending)

  1. Dear Sascha,

    Not only am I relieved by the happy ending, I think you did a better job of building tension in the waiting. both are good, but this is my favorite of the two.



      1. Sort of reminds me of Yann Martel’s novel “Life of Pi.” The story actually has two endings and strongly influences the reader to accept the more interesting story, even though it might not be what actually happened.

    1. Thanks, Dale. I think if I hadn’t been in a hurry to get it posted and get back to reading others’ stories, I might have rewritten more. And, it was a good exercise. I might do it (less publicly) again the future.

  2. I vote for the second one. Not merely did it have a happy ending, but I’d been confused about the relationship between the characters in the first, and in this one the relationships are much clearer.

  3. This was nice but I far preferred the first one. It had a gritty realistic punch to it, especially when Brian turns up with the cash but she’s died already.

    1. It is. And I think for the happy ending one to be truly effective, I wondered if I had revised enough because sometimes you make your word choice echo your intention.
      Thanks for reading! 🙂

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.