Embers of Bridges Glowing (The Happy Ending)

Thank you to Rochelle for Friday Fictioneers!

I am doing something slightly unusual. I took a request (from Miss Maggie) to take the story I just submitted and give it a happy ending. Well, then it needed a few adjustments. A more hopeful title, etc. So take your pick. Happy ending or sad ending. Which do you prefer?

PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

Embers of Bridges

“She needs a doctor, you stupid ox.”

Brian’s head jerks as if I landed a blow. “I’ll fix it.”

I don’t wait. I board a bus, murmuring songs in Kitty’s ear. Her eyes, green like Brian’s Emerald Isle, gaze at me.

Worries churn.

“She’s in good hands.”

How will we pay?

When the door opens, I glance over. Face bloodied, left eye swollen, Brian grins while displaying a wad of cash. Pressed against his chest, I hear his heart thud.

Interminable waiting. With each swing of the door, my heart plummets until my ear discerns the unmistakable lilt of Kitty’s cooing song.

end (100 words)

Sascha Darlington 2/28/2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

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51 replies »

  1. Dear Sascha,

    Not only am I relieved by the happy ending, I think you did a better job of building tension in the waiting. both are good, but this is my favorite of the two.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. I vote for the second one. Not merely did it have a happy ending, but I’d been confused about the relationship between the characters in the first, and in this one the relationships are much clearer.

  3. This was nice but I far preferred the first one. It had a gritty realistic punch to it, especially when Brian turns up with the cash but she’s died already.

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