Today I discovered that I am short. I’m a little above 5’4″ and thought of myself as average, always average. However, I did my first load of clothes in a new washing machine. It played its little song (a very cute melody; such a happy washer!) when the cycle ended so I went to put the clothes in the dryer and couldn’t reach the bottom of the washer to retrieve socks. Leaning over, I thought that perhaps I might end up inside of the washing machine, which might possess (pun) a few Stephen King ideas of its own.
And what if I righted myself and discovered that I was too short to get myself out? My screams would echo in the stainless steel cylinder until I went deaf from my own voice. Or maybe the machine would switch on and purge me through the drain pipe where I would float away into the Potomac River, into the Chesapeake Bay, and finally to the Atlantic Ocean and the beach…finally to the beach! Yay. Naw. Hard way to get there, and cold now that the temperature has dropped 30 degrees (again).
Deciding that I didn’t want to be the unsuspecting prey in a horror novel, I grabbed some kitchen tongs and retrieved the garments. Ha! You didn’t get the better of me, gloating washer!
I wonder if I should make a suggestion to the washing machine manufacturer that they should throw in some tongs for us, evidently, height-challenged individuals? Tongs for the mini-me.
Lastly, fair warning, dear readers, I am going to be playing “ketchup” so there may be a deluge of short pieces and poetry in the next 24 hours. If not, yours truly may be shedding tears, but I’ll go stand in the rain so it looks like it’s just rain droplets. 🙂
Just as I was about to publish, the power went out. The promised deluge may have to wait. ~~Sob.~~