Self-Discovery, A True Story

 

Today I discovered that I am short. I’m a little above 5’4″ and thought of myself as average, always average. However, I did my first load of clothes in a new washing machine. It played its little songΒ (a very cute melody; such a happy washer!) when the cycle ended so I went to put the clothes in the dryer and couldn’t reach the bottom of the washer to retrieve socks. Leaning over, I thought that perhaps I might end up inside of the washing machine, which might possess (pun) a few Stephen King ideas of its own.

woman in washing maching

And what if I righted myself and discovered that I was too short to get myself out? My screams would echo in the stainless steel cylinder until I went deaf from my own voice. Or maybe the machine would switch on and purge me through the drain pipe where I would float away into the Potomac River, into the Chesapeake Bay, and finally to the Atlantic Ocean and the beach…finally to the beach! Yay.Β  Naw. Hard way to get there, and cold now that the temperature has dropped 30 degrees (again).

Deciding that I didn’t want to be the unsuspecting prey in a horror novel, I grabbed some kitchen tongs and retrieved the garments. Ha! You didn’t get the better of me, gloating washer!

I wonder if I should make a suggestion to the washing machine manufacturer that they should throw in some tongs for us, evidently, height-challenged individuals? Tongs for the mini-me.

Lastly, fair warning, dear readers, I am going to be playing “ketchup” so there may be a deluge of short pieces and poetry in the next 24 hours. If not, yours truly may be shedding tears, but I’ll go stand in the rain so it looks like it’s just rain droplets. πŸ™‚

Just as I was about to publish, the power went out. The promised deluge may have to wait. ~~Sob.~~

 

 

30 Comments

    1. Hehe. I’ve sometimes felt like when I’m forced to climb on a bar stool because there are not booths available that I am mountain climbing. Hmm. Maybe I’ve been short all along. πŸ˜€

  1. I am 56 inches tall (4-foot-8-inches). I almost had a similar accident when I first moved into a house and been using a pair of tongs to grab my clothes out of the washing machine ever since. I think if that happened to me, I might never use a washing machine again.

  2. Ha! Hubby and MOH had to make me a step as I couldn’t get in and out of the back of his Shogun, and I’m 5′ 7″!
    As for tongs, that takes me back, as Mum had a wooden pair of those for taking the washing out of the (very) hot water and putting it through the mangle!
    I have two sets of tongs in the kitchen (small ones for cooking), but we use one to put the lit tea light in the glass holder when we light candles for Mum and the Dads as if unlit, the lighter doesn’t reach and we burn our fingers, or if lit, we can’t get our fingers and said tea light in the glass at the same time!.

    1. Hehe! Some guys in the US love their trucks with the huge wheels. I’ve often wondered how people got in and out!
      Yep. I used my kitchen tongs. I may have to get a separate pair to keep on the washer. πŸ™‚

      1. MOH is our friend who lies just outside of Bristol. MOH stands for My Other Husband which is a standing joke between the three of us. He was married to my best friend but kept in touch after she died in 2000. He’s more than a friend, he’s family, and has always been there for us, as have we for him.

      2. As a married couple, it just wouldn’t work as we are so different, but he’s more than our friend and does look after us when we visit. The MOH bit came when someone (who was forever nosey and a bit of a pain) asked who he was when he picked me up from work, and it just came out. And stuck.

    1. The sympathy is just rolling off of you, Maggie. πŸ˜‰ I JUST got the top loader after having an ancient one for years. Tongs it is unless I grow taller or my arms grow longer. πŸ™‚

  3. Haha! Such a funny, cute, creative post! I’m 5’1.5″ 🀣 I have a front loader. This shorty is safe from a short-person-eating appliance. πŸ˜‚

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