Thank you to Rochelle for Friday Fictioneers!
In the Alley
When the barometer drops, I feel the rotation in the churning clouds. I’m itching to be with Jeff, chasing storms instead of sick in bed on my cell listening to them talk about congestion on the dirt roads. Too many novices craving tornado selfies.
“You’d hate it,” Jeff says. “It’s a freakin’ parade.”
Fear spikes. “Don’t get blocked in.”
“Me?” He chuckles.
Someone tweets: an F-4 heading south toward Jeff. The call ends. No signal.
Hail taps at the window. Debris swirls in the motel parking lot. Darkness devours. Sirens wail.
No need to chase the storm, it’s found me.
49 thoughts on “In the Alley #amwriting”
That is a terrifying story! Now we have to wonder if either of them gets out of this one…
Thanks, Dale. I have no idea.
Chilling! Yes, we are left wondering, pondering…
Thanks, Phyllis! 🙂
Your welcome, Sascha. It really was all of the above, especially chilling!
Builds the suspense and then the terror so well. Leaves the reader wondering what happened next.
Thanks so much! 🙂
Out in the midst of it or in the motel – neither is safe.
So true. Nature can have a mind of its own and nothing is a guarantee.
You summoned that well. I especially liked “the rotation in the churning clouds”
Thanks, Neil! 🙂
Great tension, Sascha. Wonder if they survived the disaster.
Great writing, as always. 🙂
Thanks so much, Moon! 🙂
Broodingly atmospheric. Well done.
Thank you, Sandra! 🙂
Coo! Gripping story! Really tense and frightening. I liked your expression ‘Fear spiked’.
Thanks so much, Penny! 🙂
You do a great job with dialogue, with tone, with pace here – all build to a nerve wracking ending. Cracking job Sascha
Many thanks, Lynn! 🙂
My pleasure 🙂
What a day to be ill! 😊
Thanks for reading! 🙂
I liked the way you built the tension – cleverly done!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Thanks so much, Susan! 🙂
Something we don’t have to worry about in the UK, the do look awesome, but a terrible thing to be caught up in. Great story.
Thanks, Iain! 🙂
Having grown up in tornado country, this was was all too real. So scary.
My daddy was from Kansas. I heard tales.
Love how you captured that tension. Storm chasing u-turned… love it!
Thanks, Jelli! 🙂
I love the way you poem has come full circle… the storm found me!!
Thanks so much, Dwight! 🙂
Very chilling. Loved it.
Much thanks, Lisa! 🙂
Thanks so much for reading! 🙂
The storm always finds you in the end.
Thanks for reading! 🙂
It must be terrifying to get caught in a tornado. I can’t understand why people chase them. She got the action without the crowd.
I’m afraid that happens sometimes.
Thanks so much for reading, Irene! 🙂
The narrator’s thorough knowledge about these storms makes the development even more frightening.
Thanks for reading! I appreciate your comment. 🙂
Since I’m a little late to the reading game ~ been “under the weather” ~ everyone else has said exactly what I would have said. Growing up in Denver, CO we had a few tornado warnings come down the wire and that was pretty freaky. Nicely told.
Thanks, Alicia. I’m a weather geek (amongst other things) so I do read about storm chasers and how the amateurs have joined in. It’s made an already bad situation far more danger. I appreciate your reading!
My pleasure. I hadn’t thought about the amateur storm chasers. I think as time goes by the amateurs are ruining many things – hiking, camping and exploring the wilderness just to name a few. No planning, lots of selfies … I’ve got to stop before I make you crazy.
🙂 the unfortunate thing is that all of those obsessed selfies put them in danger. Crazy for me isn’t a far trip.
Your story is as powerful as the storm that’s about to catch up to her. Well done.
Thank you so much, Rochelle! 🙂