This was written for Friday Fictioneers. Thanks to Rochelle!
The College Soccer Star
The shotgun reduces the ball to tiny black and white fragments of past tense.
It needed destroying. She believes that until she hears the thump of his crutches on the porch.
“What did you do?”
“Set you free,” she says. Her self-righteousness makes her stomach turn. Maybe she was wrong.
His eyes tell her she’s never been right. “Fuck. Just shoot me next.”
She thought Kandahar had taken him away, but it was always that ball, what it represented, what it made him. Men seeking glory never find it with women.
And, she’ll never learn to be a good crutch.
end
Excellent.
I love ‘past tense’.
Thank you, C.E.!
Layered as a puff pastry
Thank you so much, Neil!
Such sadness. Expertly done, hinting at the emotions and the causes behind them.
Thank you, Iain!
Who wants to be a mans crutch anyway? I mean, I don’t.
lol Good point. Thank you, Violet!
Dear Sascha,
It sounds like she needs to find a man who truly appreciates her. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
I think you’re right, Rochelle. Thank you.
This is brilliant, Sascha.
Thank you, Dale! Maybe I won’t write any more for the year so I can end on a good note. haha. 🙂
Haha! No!
ha. ha. 😉
Think she done right to move on. Also the emotive feelings of the two characters was written very well. Great job.
Thank you, Lisa! 🙂
Wow. Lots of layers here, lots of back-story. Really well done.
Thank you, Linda! 🙂
Nice. That first line blew me away.
Thank you! 🙂
Great story.
So well written. We know, understand and empathise with those in the story because you got in so much fine detail.
thank you, Jilly! 🙂
Very well written, well done
Thank you, Michael! 🙂
I liked this one.
Thank you, Dawn! 🙂
His eyes tell her she’s never been right. The reader can believe it might be PTSD except for this line. It says so much.
Thank you so much, Alicia! 🙂
So true, no one appreciates a metaphorical crutch. Some people relish the attention of their pain – makes me boak.
and now you’ve taught me another new word!
Thanks, James! 🙂