Swirling Carousel

Deep Dream Generated by Sascha Darlington

I cannot explain why life lately feels more than ever like I’m on a whirling carousel, as if I can’t get a grip on all of the things I’m supposed to do. Usually I have lists and my brain would typically arrange, but this year my brain feels a bit more inert, which I find scary.

On Saturday, I had friends over to meet Sophie Stella, enjoy a meal, and have some Christmas cheer. While everything went off as planned, I felt like just getting the decorating done as well as the cleaning and cooking took an inordinate amount of TIME. Lately, everything seems to take more time as if time has morphed into double its size, but passes so quickly. If that doesn’t make sense, I can only offer a shrug.

Is this aging or is it something else again that’s surfaced in the past year? I know a bit of depression has filtered into everything, a bit of what’s the purpose, a bit of who am I now. But I don’t like not feeling “brainy” as if my mind has gone on vacation…without me physically being there.

And there’s this endless feeling of needing to catch up because I’ve fallen behind. I don’t feel as if there are more things I’m doing, it’s just that I don’t seem to be doing them as well or thoroughly or something.

Anyway, I am hoping this is a blip. (I don’t like blips, just sayin’.) Maybe the new year will bring my brain back to me, or whatever it is that’s missing.

In the meantime, excuse my delayed responses…I’m catching up.




14 thoughts on “Swirling Carousel

  1. I can relate. Sometimes I feel a burst of energy and get a lot done, but other days the hours just slip away and I can’t believe it’s time for sleep again.

  2. Sometimes it’s our brain telling us we need some time out, to rewind, re-everything. Don’t worry about the world, it will get by, dishes don’t run away, nor does our brain – it just needs a rest every now and then.

  3. It’s aging and I’m beginning to think it is on purpose to get us to change our ways and put our minds to other things. It bothers me, too, though Sascha. I really did think I’d stay young forever.

    1. I do very much agree with changing ways. I think the next couple of weeks before the New Year begins is a great time to take stock and see what I’m doing that may not necessarily be in my best interest. Thank you!

  4. There is no need to panic, Sascha, unless there are alligators. I find electric shock therapy and wine helps, this time of year is a blip all by itself. Sweet Deep Dream, BTW, and all the best for the festive season and 2019, the Chinese Year of the Alligator.

    1. lol I did not know there was a Chinese Year of the Alligator. Is it one in which you constantly walk around and say: Bite me? hehe Could also be named Year of the Curmudgeon.

      Thanks, Steve. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season. Doesn’t it seem like it was yesterday that we said it…an entire year has passed. Incredible!

      1. Exactly, Sascha, I have been doing that, but it hasn’t worked. Now I have a momentary break from friends and family. Time flies when alligators are chasing you.

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