And now for something completely different. This idea actually came to me last night around midnight when I was walking the pups. Fortunately I remembered it to write this morning. Ha! And thanks to Kristi for her song recommendation, which turned into a fun writing for me!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Doorbell cameras. Have you seen these things? They’re cameras built into your neighbors’ doorbells so that they can see all the dirty deeds going on around them at night. When the neighborhood network started posting links to their videos of thieves lurking around their cars, checking out their front doors, I decided to give in and have some fun.

Disclaimer: hey, bro, I know that doorbell cameras are serious things to stop, like, crime and shit. I do, I mean, yay. But when it opens an opportunity for a girl to have fun, well, a girl’s gotta do, what a girl’s gotta do—am I right?

The neighbors don’t pay much attention to me. I’m a mousy brunette bookworm (ha, right?). When I was a kid, I didn’t play with their kids. Their kids wanted to play pirates and princesses and I wanted to play werewolves and vampires. I remember one of the parents told Dad that I scared their kids, which meant I got a severe talking to from Dad. The “remember who you are” kind of talk that really meant don’t show other people who you are, or you’ll end up living with your rebel grandmother in the wilds of Washington State. So, I behaved, kind of.

But this year, on the cusp of 18, this mousy bookworm decided to have some fun.

“Do you know that you’re doing, Petra? If my scrambling remote doesn’t work, they’ve got you,” Bobby said. Bobby is my best friend since, for always.

I laughed and tapped my index finger on his stubbly chin. “There’s nothing to worry about. I have total faith in your scambly thing.”

At 2 am, a willowy blonde girl (a wig, fans) triggered an alert on the doorbell mechanisms. She appeared frightened, on the edge when suddenly the video filled with white noise and then, when the video reappeared, only a cougar stood there, licking its chops.

An urgent message appeared first thing in the morning, describing how a waifish young teenager had been devoured by a mountain lion, which was followed by my father roaring, not quite literally although he’s capable of it.

“Petra Marie, what have you done?”

I sat up in bed, rubbing my fists into my eyes. “Geez, dad, off the rails much?”

“And what do you think this is?” he asked waving his cell in front of my bleary eyes.

“An android phone?”

“It’s plane tickets to Seattle, my girl. I’ve already told you grandmother you’re on your way.”

For a moment, I considered my options and figured pouting might be the way to go. “You’re not going to let me finish out the semester? Graduate with my friends? Be part of the community?”

He knew it was bullshit. “After the squirrel incident last Halloween, I checked to see make sure you had enough credits to graduate. And, whoa-ho, my dear daughter, you do.”

My bottom lip jutted out. “Washington’s not going to be much fun. They have a population of cougars there.”

He grinned. “Yes, they do. That will limit your pranks, won’t it?”

I tapped my finger against my lips, already plotting what a shapeshifting cougar-girl can do to have fun in a place like Washington State because, you know, girls just wanna have fun, am I right? Watch out, Gran and Washington State, Petra Marie incredible shape-shifting cougar is on her way!

End

Sascha Darlington