I’m still chugging along on this challenge. I hope to catch up tomorrow (hmmm…just noticed that somehow tomorrow became today, oh, well). We are on “P” and the song that inspired today’s piece is Alison Krauss’ “Paper Airplane.” I’ve placed the video at the end of the story and encourage you to watch it. Alison Krauss is one of my favorites. Not only does she have this beautiful voice, but she has a talent for finding beautiful songs.
In the Winter
The winter draws around me, a cold shawl of remorse. I’ve turned the heat down low, to save money, because pride refuses to let me ask you to pay bills although you, in all of your guilt-ridden angst, said you’d give me anything, but I had to let you go.
I wouldn’t keep you. I’m surprised you didn’t realize. While I think that whole if you love something set it free notion is hokey, I don’t believe in controlling something just because you love. And when you asked, I let you go, to her.
There was a time when I would have felt worse, when we made love often, when your hot hands on my body made me feel alive, but that was years ago, and I haven’t felt love or alive in a long time. I sit on your favorite burgundy leather chair that melts like butter around me and your cat jumps onto my lap, kneads my arm before settling in. She and I commiserate in front of the lit fireplace, watching flames dance, and the sound of the fire sucking in oxygen like a living thing while I wonder why I’ve felt more relieved than sad.