It cannot be. I am posting on the same day as the picture prompt is posted and not two minutes before the party’s over? It must be a dream.
Thanks to Rochelle for Friday Fictioneers! And thanks to Dawn for a very cool, colorful pic!
The Right Thing
Anna homed in on the barn. The moment Maxie locked herself in her bedroom, she’d known what he’d done. How could he have no respect, no caring, for them?
Surprised, he glanced up from the engine he was repairing, wiped his hands on a raggedy towel.
“How could you?” she asked.
“I—”
“She’s a kid.”
He nodded. “Which is why I told her Josh was the best man I knew.”
“You didn’t tell her you’re her father?”
“Hell no. I’m not a complete loser.”
She swallowed her anger, gratified a vestige of the boy she loved remained.
end (98 words)
I’ve been sitting on this for 30 minutes (not literally) because I hate am unhappy with the last line, but I’m letting it go now.
Good on him – although one day she’s going to find out the truth and then…!
Yep. One day the truth will emerge…what then. Thanks, Iain! 🙂
Have you seen all the stories about genetic test results surprises??! bigamy! affairs! 😳
😲
Dear Sascha,
Oh there’s so much more to this story. But you’ve told it so well, I feel I can fill in the blanks. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you so much, Rochelle! 🙂
Piecing it together, I feel they’re only just holding it together, It can’t last
Probably not. Thanks, Neil! 🙂
timing is important for truth to be revealed – its comforting to know a person does not change completely
Thank you, Gina! 🙂
Is that why I haven’t seen you around Friday Fictioneers? I try to get mine in right away.
Nice job of subtly unfolding the tale.
Yep. I’m usually near the end of the line.
Thanks for reading! 🙂
Wonderful, so full of feeling and movement.
Thank you so much! 🙂 Sorry for the late reply. You were hiding in my spam folder. 🙁
I do that sometimes just for random fun, lol, no worries.
Lol
Enjoyed the unfolding of the story. Well done.
Thank you so much! 🙂
I like the way you introduced the back story. Lots going on here. Well done.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Thank you so much, Susan! 🙂
It’s always nice to be reminded of the best in people. A deep story, subtly told. Very nice!
Thank you so much, Brenda! 🙂
I don’t know why you were unhappy with the ending. Fine for me. Good one.
Thank you, Sandra! 🙂
Nicely done.
Thank you! 🙂
One day though I’m sure the truth will out…
I think so…Thank you! 🙂
So much in so few words. All will be revealed, in time.
Thank you so much for reading, Keith! 🙂
Wonderful story, Sascha and I love that last line!
Thanks, Jade. sorry for the late reply. I found you in my spam folder! 🙁
These things have a way of coming out eventually… Well done, Sascha!
They do! Thanks, Dale. Sorry for the late reply. You were biding time in my spam folder for some reason. 🙁
Ah well… You at least found me!!
The chickens always do come home to roost. Sooner or later.
Thanks for reading, Linda! 🙂
Sounds like a top guy. She’ll learn eventually but hopefully when she’s better equipped to deal with it.
Yes, the truth will come out and I hope she learns about it in a good way. Thanks, Michael!
Great piece, love the description.
Thank you, Susan! 🙂
Thank you so much, Susan! 🙂
You’ve constructed this story really well, Sascha. You allow the characters to speak for themselves, and you’ve given them authentic voices, especially ‘Hell, no. I’m not a complete loser.’ The only place where you use a different voice is the last line…’gratified’ and ‘vestige’ are a bit too posh, don’t you think? (I hope you don’t mind my offering that concrit in response to your lament about sitting on the story for thirty minutes)
Thanks, Penny. No, I very much don’t mind your crit–it’s very welcome! I did consider “hint” instead of vestige, but it was also something off about the rhythm for me. I have this thing in my head that the last line in flash fiction is extra important for summing up as well as how it “sounds.” Maybe I’ll fiddle with it a bit more. Much appreciated! 🙂
Layers and layers. This is great, but I fear for her happiness when the truth comes out.
Thank you so much, Laurie. I’m thinking that story, the down the road one, might need to be written at some point. 🙂
The problems are spared….for now.
Yes, sometime in the future…and that’s probably another story. Thanks for reading, Miles!