I’d like to cheer and say I’m back, but this was painful. I haven’t written creatively in weeks! Ouch! Thanks, Lisa! So nice to see you behind the dVerse bar, and I love the prompt!
It was easier being a clown-- hiding behind makeup false smile lipstick joking through pain-- than admit you stank at living. And because I laughed thinking I was supposed to I never saw the you behind the mask even after hearing the pour of bourbon before the sun rose high. You nursed water in a highball liberally tinged with vodka, defensively claiming "it's water" and it’s only now, I feel that pain, the defense, understanding some pain's unsurvivable. But there’s a laugh echoing, mirthful eyes, a shadow, an alcohol-fused clown mask living/dying beyond the real you, I never saw, never will, the sad behind the clown smile.