I’d like to cheer and say I’m back, but this was painful. I haven’t written creatively in weeks! Ouch! Thanks, Lisa! So nice to see you behind the dVerse bar, and I love the prompt!
Mask
It was easier being a clown-- hiding behind makeup false smile lipstick joking through pain-- than admit you stank at living. And because I laughed thinking I was supposed to I never saw the you behind the mask even after hearing the pour of bourbon before the sun rose high. You nursed water in a highball liberally tinged with vodka, defensively claiming "it's water" and it’s only now, I feel that pain, the defense, understanding some pain's unsurvivable. But there’s a laugh echoing, mirthful eyes, a shadow, an alcohol-fused clown mask living/dying beyond the real you, I never saw, never will, the sad behind the clown smile.
I know by experience that that is an impossible task when someone is determined not to let you get to the real them. I suspect even they have never done so.
Oh god, this is absolutely sad. Generally, there’s a reason why people have their walls up so high from everyone. It’s just saddening to me when they find it hard to lower their defenses around those they can trust. You describe this beautifully and solemnly.
Your poem brought tears to my eyes, Sascha. It’s amazing and frightening how well alcoholics hide their addiction, their pain and their real selves. That’s one mask I know I will never wear, an ‘alcohol-fused clown mask’.
kaykuala
the real you,
I never saw,
never will,
the sad
behind
the clown smile
Come to think of it, yes, Sascha. We don’t really know the real person hidden behind all the garb of laughter..He might not be as happy as he tries to be.
Hank
Tears of a Clown, never more apt.
Sascha, most happy the prompt inspired you to write <3 And write you did. The heartache of the alcoholic/addict and the heartache of those who love them, both behind masks. Very poignant and resonates within my bones.
Very well expressed. Excellent work
So much layers of sadness in this… the mask hiding what’s real an how booze will destroy everything. combined they are lethal.
Such a perfect painting to accompany your words. So sad.
💖 Thank you.