The delivery guy this evening wished me a Happy Mother’s Day. It wasn’t the first time and unless something happens between now and next Mother’s Day, it probably won’t be the last. I don’t have kids. But I’ve had lots of dogs and a cat, Miss Tiki the cat who thought she was a dog, so I figured I was well within my rights to just say: thank you.
Slightly bemused, I unpacked the groceries and realized that in the delivery guy’s experience, most women of my age are mothers. I am that minority. I did want kids. I know I would have been a great mother, one of those fun mothers who played ball with their kids, baked cookies, made mud volcanoes, and showed them the joys of lifting up rocks to find salamanders and that if you turn a salamander over onto its back and rub its belly that it goes to sleep for a few seconds.
And, maybe I, without having the benefit of a belly rub, went to sleep for a few minutes and time, that never ceasing passage of seconds, slipped by me. It happens far more often than I would like to admit. I feel like I lost some time between 2009 and now. The year I lost Miss Tiki and gained Scout. A strange trade, but perhaps not that strange. A man at Sandbridge years ago tried to pet Scout, who scurried away, and he said: that dog is like a cat. Well, Scout did replace Miss Tiki, I thought, kind of. But nothing yet replaces Scout. 💔
I can’t guess at my alternate reality. Frankly, it would do more harm than good right now. But I am often very happy, content in my life, the past year an anomaly, which we’ve all experienced and hopefully have grown from, and not bitter as some would have us believe.
Because we’ve all been so cloistered in the past year, I’ve witnessed some very bad examples of parenting, shaking kids on a front lawn, blaming them in loud voice, but I’ve also seen an absolutely adorable, totally smitten father play every day with his tiny girl. That love, which I see almost every day, assures me that the future generations are in good hands.
Regrets have little future. I have none. I want a puppy. I hear one might come to me next fall.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you who very much deserve a day of kindness. 💖🌼🌻🌺
May you have pancakes in bed and luscious coffee…or tea.